What are the secrets of the happiest couples you know? There’s no magic formula. But maintaining these five simple acts as “daily love habits” will help build the security, affection, and yes, even romance that form the deep, satisfying, healthy relationship you want.
Check in with each other
Happy couples reach out to each other when they’re apart. Whether it’s to say that you’re running late, to ask if you should pick anything up on the way home or just to say hi, the message is “I’m thinking about you.” It makes partners feel connected and important to one another.
Act generously instead of keeping score
In a healthy relationship, you’re on the same team. So when you keep score, no one wins. Instead of focusing on what’s “fair” or “right,” make your relationship about doing things to make each other happy. Also, do it without expecting anything in return. This builds security in your relationship and inspires both of you to feel satisfied with each other as just you are, not as you wish one another could be.
Give each other compliments
One great way to act generously with your partner is to be generous with positive feedback. Hearing even little compliments like “great dinner!” or “wow, the car is really clean!” let your partner know that you notice and appreciate the things they do for you. It makes them want to keep doing these things just to make you smile.
Talk openly about your thoughts and feelings with your partner. If you’re upset, say so. If something isn’t working, ask your partner to help you find ways to fix it or work around it. To manage problems, first you have to mention them. Plus when couples feel safe and comfortable expressing themselves, they get to know each other better and feel a deeper connection to each other.
Stay in the habit of saying “thank you” and “I love you”
You can love and appreciate your partner until the end of time, but if you never say so, it won’t matter. As humans, we need frequent and specific reminders that we’re loved and appreciated. Staying in the habit of acknowledging your partner’s value to you is one of the most important things you can do to make them feel committed to staying in the relationship – even during the rough patches.
Grand romantic gestures make great stories. But the little things you do every day – they add up, and that’s what makes your romance epic. However, every relationship has its challenges. If you need help smoothing out some rough spots in yours, schedule a private, secure video session with an MDLIVE counselor.